The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard (2009)

I was asked to review this film by someone who had already seen the film and told me that I would like it. He and I do not always agree on films but we have similar values and morals and have been good friends for about 25 years and I trust his judgement more times than not so I watched this film. The request oiginally came when we were disagreeing on movies and I mentioned that I do not care for Jeremy Piven (who is the star of The Goods...) so he was going to change my opinion on Piven with this film. I am open-minded and don't mind being proven wrong occasionally so here is my review as requested.

Don "The Goods" Ready (Piven) is a sales mercenary who can sell anything. A car dealer, Ben Selleck (James Brolin), with a dying car dealership is forced to bring in help or risk losing his dealership. Selleck hires Ready and his team of experts/social misfits to try to help make one last-ditch effort to save Selleck Motors over the Fourth of July holiday. The movie is full of stupid jokes and useless strip-club scenes (I cannot believe I even said that) because one of Ready's crew, Jibby Newsome (Ving Rhames) likes to eat breakfast in strip clubs.

The Goods... was made by the same people who made Talladega Nights (which I liked) and Step Brothers (which was a stinker but still made me laugh) and there was a couple scenes where the star of those movies appeared. He wisely was uncredited at the end of this "movie" though it's very obvious who it is. I had never heard of this film and there is definately a reason for that. I have liked almost everybody in this film IN OTHER POJECTS THEY HAVE DONE but this movie was a huge piece of crap. I watched it in four separate installments over two-and-a-half days because I could not stomach it all at one time. It was such nasty medicine that a train full of sugar wouldn't have helped this go down. I walked out of MacGruber at the theater after 20 minutes and had I been at the theater to watch this movie I would have done the same. I think my fiend (not a typo) that suggested this film was kidding me or testing my movie tastes - at least I hope so for his sake. I hate the fact that I reviewed two pieces of garbage in a row but at least that will let you keep your sanity for two movies longer. You have been warned...DO NOT GO NEAR THIS MOVIE! My opinion has not changed of Jeremy Piven at this point either. The Goods should have been called The Bads or The Craps.